Tag: customs

Imagine showing up for a meal in your new host country with only the knowledge of your own cultural expectations regarding who will pay.

Once the ticket lands on the table, confusion or even anger may ensue, as you discover those you’re sharing a meal with expect you to pay for it in its entirety – or refuse to let you pay for yourself.

This latter method of payment is called “going Dutch” in much of the Western world, and it’s becoming much more commonplace.

The Origins of “Going Dutch”

It’s not clear if “going Dutch” is actually a norm of the Dutch, as the origins of the phrase are believed to be rooted in the enmity between the Dutch and the English.

Dictionary.com states,

It’s popularly thought the expression originated as a British slur towards the perceived stinginess of Dutch people.”

Much like the phrases, “Irish Exit” and “French Leave,” the term was likely introduced as a slur to indicate rude behavior.

But it is now used in a more or less benign way to describe how to divide up pay at a restaurant.

Other areas of the world have similar phrases to indicate the same act (some of which were also originally an insult).

In Egypt, for instance, going Dutch is called “Englizy” – or “English-style.”

And in Latin America, the Spanish phrase, “pagan a la Americana,” means “to pay the American-style” and indicates the same method of divvying up the bill.

Contrasting Customs

While “going Dutch” might be spreading, many cultures still approach the question of who foots the bill in their own unique ways.

• The U.S. – In the United States, the etiquette around paying for a meal can vary depending on the region and social context. It’s not uncommon for friends to split the bill, especially in casual settings. Sometimes, the split is even, regardless of the meal each individual ordered; other times, everyone requests their own bill. Neither is considered rude. However, in more formal or business settings, the host may take the initiative to cover the entire bill as a gesture of hospitality.
• Japan – In Japan, the concept of “going Dutch” is relatively rare. The person who extended the invitation is typically expected to pay for the entire meal. There’s a cultural emphasis on reciprocity, and guests often express gratitude rather than attempting to share the financial burden.
• China – In China, the host is also expected to cover the bill, but there may be a polite dance where guests offer to pay as a sign of respect. It’s common for the host to decline the offer initially, but guests may insist before the bill is settled.
• France – French dining etiquette tends to lean towards a more formal approach. The person extending the invitation is generally expected to pay and attempting to split the bill may be perceived as gauche. However, close friends might find it acceptable to share expenses.
• India – In India, the norm is for the host to pay, especially in social or family settings. However, similar to China, there’s often a dance of politeness where guests offer to pay, and hosts may genuinely appreciate the gesture. In modern, urban settings, splitting the bill is becoming more acceptable among friends.

Learning a Culture’s Norms

Learning and adapting to a culture’s values and norms is one of the key steps to cultural integration.

Cultural expectation surrounding shared meals is an important piece of information to have in your back pocket.

After all, you don’t want to be considered rude.

While the Dutch approach emphasizes equality and shared responsibility, other cultures will have different values that they bring to the table (pun intended). 

As we indulge in culinary experiences around the globe, understanding and respecting these cultural differences can enhance our enjoyment of shared meals across borders.