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As I mentioned in my very first post on this blog, culture is not borne within you. It’s not part of your DNA.

Culture is learned.

This month, we’ll be talking more about the cultural learning process.

But first, to illustrate the fact that culture is learned, I’d like to take a quick look at food.

Culture->Food

Why is food so important to culture?

According to an article by Anne Murcott of the Department of Sociology at the University College Cardiff, entitled “The cultural significance of food and eating”:

People eat in a socially organized fashion. There are definite ideas about good and bad  table-manners, right and wrong ways to present dishes, clear understandings about      food appropriate to different occasions.

And all of this is learned.

Tastes & Diets

Not only are our food customs learned, so are our tastes.

If you’ve never experienced another culture’s food habits, customs, and dishes, then you may not know what your natural instinct might be to, say, China’s deep-fried scorpions.

Stefan Gates knows. The BBC journalist travels the world, taste-testing diverse cultural menus. When you watch his series, Cooking in the Danger Zone, you can see just how different the tastes of various cultures are and, in turn, to what degree your own cultural identity determines your food preferences…especially when it comes to which foods you might find repulsive.

When you see this

does your mouth water, or does your stomach turn?

It’s fairly common for a European to grimace, while someone from an Asian country, where the snack is fairly common, wouldn’t bat an eye. In fact, they’d probably be keen on having a bite of scorpion.

This visceral reaction shows that culture is learned. Our bodies, our gag reflexes, are responding to what our culture has taught us is right and wrong to eat.

And with food cultural, it’s not only our diets that are learned.

Food Customs

What time of day do you eat? How do you prepare your meals? Where do you get your food – from a shop, outdoor market, or your own backyard?

Cultural food customs are many, and they’re all learned.

Murcott agrees:

The preparation and consumption of food provides, moreover, a material means for        expressing the more abstract significance of social systems and cultural values. It may be      argued that what people are prepared to take inside their bodies reflects their social            identities, and their membership of social groups. To view eating habits as a matter of culture is to understand that they are a product of codes of conduct and the structure of social relationships of the society in which they occur.

This is why, when you’re taking action to integrate into a culture, sharing food is one of the most important ways to do so.

And this is also why you can integrate into any culture: because culture is learned, and once you realize that, you can start to learn any culture to which you wish to become a part.

Tune in next week to learn more about how human beings learn culture.

As mentioned in my post The Science Behind Learning a Second Language, learning from exposure is a key element to mastering a second language. Exposure can be found in-person or online. In fact, thanks to FaceTime, Skype, and WhatsApp, it’s never been easier to practice language with a native speaker, even if you live on the other side of the world!

But where to begin?

You can always take a stab in the dark and exchange your contact info with someone you find on a language exchange site, like Conversation Exchange or The Mixxer, or you can pay for a language tutor from one of the following best online language tutoring sites.

The latter choice may be more advantageous, because most online tutors have had some certification or language teaching training, so they may be more skilled at helping you in leaps and bounds.

1) italki

italki is recommended by Benny, the Irish polygot of Fluent in 3 months. The site offers tutoring in any language and allows you the freedom to choose your teacher, your schedule, and even offers the option to pay-as-you-go. That means you don’t have to pay for so many lessons up front, without testing the waters first.

You have the option to choose either a professional teacher or a “community tutor,” i.e. someone not classically trained in teaching. And because you know your language hurdles best, you can inform your teacher what you need help on, and they will design a personalized curriculum for you.

2) verbling

This site is geared more towards conversational English. The site also provides a user Workspace to allow learners and teachers the ability to upload files and work together, whether it’s on images, language assignments, or simply notes. Teachers also offer their own rates, so you can choose the best teacher that suits your goals and budget.

3) Live Lingua

This “Mom and Pop” operation is more of a traditional language school. Live Lingua offers free online courses and Skype language lessons in the eleven most widely spoken languages: English, Spanish, French, German, Portuguese, Italian, Russian, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, and Korean. This site is also a great resource for self-learning. You can find the Peace Corps Language Archive here, which contains language-learning materials for more than 100 different languages.

4) Verbalplanet

Verbalplanet offers a similar program as italki. Choose the teacher, choose the time, choose the topic, and you can practice any existing language known to man…except maybe Clingon. The site also offers online analytics and teacher feedback, so that learners can see their progress.

Along with helpful language resources, remember that confidence + speaking + making mistakes = learning from exposure. If you practice speaking to a professional native speaker, your language skills are sure to excel much more quickly than simple bookwork.

Finding the right language resource is part of the 5 Steps to Learning a Language. This post will help you do that. The following three free resources have proven track records to successful language learning.

1. Duolingo

I know I’ve mentioned Duolingo several times throughout this blog, but it’s for good reason: the free resource is a comprehensive language learning tool, where learners can build up their vocab, learn simple sentence structures, and practice their speaking, listening, writing, and reading, all via short lessons on their computer or mobile device (there are apps available for android, Windows, and iOs).

The site makes learning a language fun through addictive gamification. By this, I mean they turn the process into a race against the clock, where you can earn points and “level up” by answering accurately. You can also see your progress immediately, as you’re graded in-lesson. According to your personal challenges, the lessons will instruct you on how to improve and up your game.

For those who don’t want to spend hours with a workbook, Duolingo is the perfect way to get a bite-sized lesson in each and every day. The site keeps language learners motivated by tracking their “streak” – that is, how many days in a row you’ve practiced. You’ll be surprised how self-competitive you might become.

Currently, the site offers lessons in the following 23 languages: Spanish, French, German, Italian, English, Portuguese, Dutch, Irish, Danish, Swedish, Russian, Swahili, Polish, Romanian, Greek, Esperanto, Turkish, Vietnamese, Hebrew, Norwegian, Ukrainian, Hungarian, and Welsh.

2. Memrise

With the byline “learning, made joyful,” you can’t go wrong with this language resource. Visual learners will get a kick out of Memrise which uses mnemonic flashcards, called “mems,” to learn new vocab through existing language knowledge.

For instance, in a beginning French lesson, you might come across a “Quoi de neuf?” (“What’s up?”) meme of a pissed off French cat with the expression, “What’s up?…I’ve had QUITE ENOUGH of you.” With these fun and clever visual tactics, you’ll have common words and phrases memorized before you know it!

According to the site, “Memrise uses clever science to adapt to your personal learning style and performance. So you learn fast and never forget!” Memrise is particularly helpful if your goal is to expand your vocabulary in any language.

3. Busuu

Busuu is an award-winning site, winner of the TechCrunch Europe Award and the BETT Innovator Award. EdTech Europe also deemed it the “Best Education Startup in Europe.” Although not all the language learning resources are free, you can build up your vocabulary for free with the site’s flashcards.

The premium package, which starts at around $5.50, offers everything you need to become fluent in a foreign language, with grammar units, vocabulary trainers, and conversations with native speakers. Busuu allows users to download lessons to practice anywhere, so you don’t have to be online to log in your language learning hours. The site also awards learners with official McGraw-Hill certificates, so you’ll have proof of your language skills when you’re, say, applying for a job.

With lessons in English, Spanish, French, German, Italian, Portuguese, Chinese, Japanese, Polish, Turkish, Russian, and Arabic, you’re likely to find the language of your choice here.

If you don’t mind shelling out some cash for your language learning, check out this comprehensive list of language resources on lingualift. The list offers both free and $$$ resources. Next week, we’ll provide sources for online language tutors.

Learning a language isn’t easy…for most of us, anyway.

Some do seem to have a natural gift for languages. In fact, in my travels, I’ve crossed paths with linguists who are fluent in upwards of nine languages (check out this 4-year-old girl, for instance). But linguists are few and far between.

To most of us, learning language is a task as difficult as any. It requires work, dedication, and practice, as any step of taking action might. However, by plugging into the equation [confidence + speaking + making mistakes = learning from exposure] and by following these five steps, you can make language learning work for you.

1) Find Resources that Best Complement the Way You Learn

My Russian friend, Lyudmila, learned English and Norwegian primarily through listening to music. My Chinese friend, Teah, learned English by grinding away at workbooks. My brother learned Spanish through Duolingo.

We don’t all learn in the same way. Some learn best by listening, others are visual, and still others learn by doing. Being as such, there is not a single go-to universal set of resources that will serve as the cure-all for language learning.

Needless to say, finding resources that best complement the way you learn will make the process of learning more personalized, efficient, and effective.

2) Start Small

If you’re just starting out, you’re not going to be reading War and Peace in a second language anytime soon. Remember that it’s important to start small and grasp the basics before delving into more complex grammar structures or vocabulary.

One way to start small: write down new vocabulary and place it where you’ll see it every day. For instance, if your goal is to learn furniture vocab, place sticky-notes of these words on the items, themselves.

3) Don’t Let Frustration Be Your Roadblock

Certain words, grammar rules, and pronunciations will be incredibly frustrating to you. Go into it with a mind to jump these hurdles instead of letting them become roadblocks.

Most importantly, don’t be a perfectionist. At least not in the beginning. The point of learning a language is communication. Getting people to understand you is more important than ironing out all the slight mispronunciations or grammar errors you’ll stumble over in early language learning. Fluency will come with time.

4) Learn to Listen

The late and great Greek philosopher, Epictetus, once said: “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

In teaching language, I’ve found that in their desire to practice speech, most students forget about listening. Their language learning suffers for it.

Practice active listening, whether it’s to foreign music, movies, TV series, news, or your conversation partner.

5) Practice Speech

I mentioned my brother and my friends, Lyudmila and Teah. Although their learning processes differed, they all had one thing in common: they practiced speaking with native speakers.

Although this is probably the most intimidating of the steps to learning a language, it’s also the most rewarding. To see your second language being understood by locals is a proud moment. All your efforts are rewarded when you’re able to order a ticket at a train station, ask for directions (and understand the answer!), or just chat about the day-to-day with a friend in their own language.

So while language learning is certainly a tough and time-consuming process, it serves to remember that the end goal is one of the most satisfying of any life accomplishment.

The last couple weeks, we’ve talked about sharing in action. Making friends and sharing food are two ways to share culture. The last actionable step is looking for your zookeeper.

What’s a Zookeeper?

Remember our zoo analogy? Well, every monkey needs a zookeeper; someone to help the animals adapt to the way of things.

You’re a monkey in the zoo. You must adapt to the new culture, and what better way to do so than by finding yourself a zookeeper – someone who knows how to approach and not confuse the monkey?

Who Should Be Your Zookeeper?

Anyone can be your zookeeper. A colleague, a counterpart, a host family, a roommate, a language partner, an assistant.

Preferably, a zookeeper will have some knowledge of your own country and culture, so they might serve as the cultural bridge. If they know your own values and norms, they’re more likely to be able to foresee the ways in which you’ll have to adjust to theirs. This insight makes for the best zookeepers.

TCKs – or “Third Culture Kids” – often make fantastic zookeepers. TCKs are those who’ve grown up in foreign cultures. They’re often adaptable and understanding of multiple perspectives, because they’ve grown up in a multicultural environment. They’ve been exposed to various lifestyles and have a keen sensitivity to societal norms and cues. They will understand your monkey moments and be able to relate, while also explaining the local culture from their own unique perspective.

Look out for a TCK or for someone who has lived and worked in your own culture.

Why Do You Need a Zookeeper?

Your zookeeper will explain everything from the day-to-day to the behaviors of local people to the complexities of life in your host country.

They will also likely hold your hand through the practical parts of living in a foreign culture. For instance, when you’ve first arrived and don’t yet grasp the language, how are you going to buy a train ticket, rent an apartment, or open a bank account? These things are next to impossible to do in a foreign country if you don’t know the ropes.

You will also depend on your zookeeper in times of emergency or crisis, both personal and otherwise. A zookeeper must be someone you trust; someone who’s got your back and is invested in you as you are in him or her.

While you’re mingling with colleagues, sharing food, and making friends, keep an eye out for this special person. They’ll make cross cultural integration a whole lot easier.

 

“Food is not rational. Food is culture, habit, craving and identity,” Jonathan Safran Foer writes in Eating Animals. Foer is the author of Everything is Illuminated, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, and this 2009 nonfiction piece about eating meat in an industrialized world.

Apart from sustaining us, food is a cultural identifier. Food tells the story of a culture.

“Stories about food are stories about us―our history and our values,” Foer writes in Eating Animals.

This is one reason sharing food is so integral to cultural integration. It helps you understand a culture’s history, values, habits, and identity.

Why Share Food?

“Food culture is like listening to the Beatles,” says Alice Waters, American chef and author of The Art of Simple Food, volumes I and II, “it’s international, it’s very positive, it’s inventive and creative.”

Waters is right. Just like The Beatles, it’s almost impossible to go wrong with food. Even if you don’t like a dish (hahem, kholodets in Russia – i.e., meat jello), the fact that you even tried a strange food from a foreign land will give you brownie points in almost any local’s book.

Food forges friendships, and sharing a meal is a great icebreaker. Not only is the dinner table a “safe space” of cultural sharing – after all, you aren’t focusing on your political/cultural differences, but rather, on your shared love of food – but you’re also engaged in a new culture of eating, which is always interesting and (usually) appetizing.

Who Do You Share With?

Eat lunch with your colleagues, take your language partner up on that invitation to dinner, join a cooking class and really get into the creative process of cooking in your host culture. You’ll learn about the food culture, about your friends, and about your host country.

What Will You Learn?

You’ll learn that Russians toast numerous times – to your health, to friendship, to the host, to love. За твоё здоровье!

You’ll learn that a traditional French meal has around seven courses: an aperitif, an appetizer, the main dish, salad and cheese, dessert, coffee, and a digestif. This is why the French usually take their time to eat. No fast food culture in France.

You’ll learn that Italian coffee culture is very particular. According to Eataly, “The day is defined by coffee rituals: a cappuccino with breakfast, a caffè macchiato – or two – as an afternoon pick-me-up, and espresso after dinner…Ask for a to-go cup or order a cappuccino after 11 a.m., and risk an instant tourist label.”

You’ll learn so much about the greater whole of any culture if you pay attention to their food culture. The way food is prepared, the rituals that go along with it, and the cuisine, itself – all of this will tell you a story. And, as Foer said, “Stories about food are stories about us.”

“The language of friendship is not words but meanings.” – Henry David Thoreau

This is the beautiful thing about friendships in foreign cultures. Though learning language is important, it isn’t essential to friendship. You’ll be surprised how much you can connect without it. You’ll make friends through gestures, kindness, and generosity, and you will discover the true meaning of friendship.

As someone who has traveled extensively and lived in foreign cultures, one of the first things I do when relocating is seek friends. I usually arrive speaking very little of the local language, but I try my best to meet people and start sharing.

The great thing is, this is often an easy task – even easier than you might find at home.

When you’re in a foreign land, the locals are naturally drawn to you. You are the “monkey” after all; most people will find you interesting. Take advantage of this and accept any friendly invitation that comes your way.

Why Make Foreign Friends?

Not only will being friendly with the locals help you integrate in practical ways (i.e., assistance with language, housing, shopping, etc.), but having local friends will help you understand the culture, the habits, values and norms, and the ins and outs of society.

Moreover, some of the people you meet in foreign lands will be in your life forever. Foreign friendships are oftentimes the strongest bonds you’ll make. Knowing people deeply from all corners of the world will remind you that, despite cultural differences, human beings are largely the same.

Who Should I Befriend?

Your colleagues, your Kung Fu master, your language partner, your teacher, your student, your cab driver, your roommate. There is no beginning and no end to who you can and will befriend abroad.

Whether circumstances put you together or you bonded spontaneously, these friendships may be fleeting or lasting. But either way, you’ll likely both benefit from the experience.

You’ll also befriend fellow expats. They’re in the same position as you are, so they can offer you resources and advice on how to best integrate.

However, depending on their perspective and how long they’ve lived in the host country, they may also have the baggage of cynicism and bad experiences. It might be wise to take anything negative they may say about your host with a grain of salt.

It would also be wise not to flock to only “your own.” While fellow expats can and will offer you some comfort from home, some commissary when things get tough, and a helping hand when need be, you won’t truly know the culture unless you mix with it.

How Do I Make Friends?

“Nihao, how are you today? I eally want to try Beijing duck. Would you like to go to dinner sometime?”

“Bonjour, sorry for my French. I’m working on it. Could you practice with me? I’ll buy you a coffee.”

“Privyet, ochen priyatno. I’m new to Ukraine. Would you mind showing me around Kyiv?”

Believe it or not, making friends is as simple as the above interactions. Invitations to grab dinner, practice language, or be a personal tour guide around the city are almost never declined. This is because local people want to show you the best side of themselves, their culture, and the beauties of their country. Take advantage of friendships in a positive way, give back, share, and integrate with ease.

Why do the Swiss yodel?

Now a musical tradition, yodeling was once often used to communicate across distances in mountainous regions.

Why are Americans such gun nuts?

The US Constitution designated the “right of the people to keep and bear Arms” an inalienable right – one reason why the gun culture in America is unlike anywhere else.

Why are Kenyans so group-orientated?

Kenyans are historically tribal. Harambee, derived from the Bantu for “to pull together,” is alive in all ethnic groups of Kenya, emphasizing mutual responsibility and assistance.

Why do the Japanese bow?

Politeness is so important to Japanese culture and etiquette that bowing is taught from an early age. The act dates back to antiquity and demonstrates respect.

These examples illustrate that layers of history contribute to the present nature of any people. Whether Swiss, American, Kenyan, Japanese, Peruvian, Turkish, Australian – you get the idea – past determines the present.

What Will You Learn?

Like religion, history will help you understand the rationale behind various behaviors, norms, and ideologies of a culture.

The “why”s listed above can often be answered in historical context. In order to accept, adapt, or adopt cultural differences, an education in your host’s history will inform your integration.

How Do You Learn History?

When you’re learning the history of a nation, learn that history from at least two places: the host country and your own.

History is often subjective. The way one country views a specific event may not be the way their neighbor does…or the way your home country does. Learning about how a nation interprets and teaches its own history will help you understand the perspective its culture holds and its underlying politics.

In addition to this, learning how others view that country’s history will likely give you a more objective picture. “Facts” may vary across cultures, and they may be contradictory. It’s unlikely that you’ll find his story is the correct telling of everyone’s story.

As with everything historical, cultural, or religious, the truth probably lies somewhere in the middle.

Why Learn a Country’s History?

History and culture are symbiotic. History creates culture, and culture creates history. In this way, knowing a nation’s history will help you understand the DNA of the culture and what makes it tick.

Additionally, as with learning your host country’s language and religion, learning its history will demonstrate your interest in and respect for your hosts.

Tune in next week to learn more about sharing in action.