There are things about foreign cultures you won’t be able to accept. As we covered last week, behaviors or beliefs that cross a moral or ethical line are the most difficult aspects of a culture to embrace.
That’s where YOU draw the line.
But in order to be successful across cultures, one must integrate as much as possible. To an extent, you must accept the culture as it is. This means you shouldn’t judge the local culture, you should accept ambiguity, you should actively tolerate, and you should explain your monkey moments.
Four Key Steps to Acceptance
- Don’t Judge – Be “culture-neutral.” Don’t view differences as good or bad. Viewing a culture as “different” instead of “wrong” will allow you to warm up to their ways. Finding fault in another is often due to fear that you are the one who’s wrong, instead of fact. As Charlyne Blatcher Martin writes for com, “It is safe to say that our fear or insecurity is often the breeding ground for casting a suspicious eye at ‘the foreigner.’”
- Accept Ambiguity – You’ll find that many processes and behaviors of other cultures are ambiguous to you. You must relinquish control and accept this ambiguity. Doing so will allow room for fresh connections to be made. You’ll see that you don’t always have the “right” answer; there are many answers to the same question.
- Practice Active Tolerance – To be actively tolerant means to allow for other opinions and points of view, while still standing firmly behind your own. You don’t have to agree, but you should accept that others have differing opinions.
- Explain Yourself – Undoubtedly, you’ll make a fool of yourself and have a monkey moment or two during your integration. Instead of hiding behind a tree branch, talk about them with your hosts and explain why your behaviors and views differ from their own.
“The locals are always late! So disrespectful!”
I don’t know how many times I’ve heard something along those lines in cultures where time is valued differently than in the Western world.
In some cultures, being late is not a problem. But to Westerners, it’s a waste of time, money, and is a mark of disrespect.
Yelling and berating the locals for their culture valuation of time isn’t acceptance; it’s accepting inaction.
Accepting in Action
Instead of pulling your hair out, someone who is looking to integrate into a culture where the trains don’t run on time must go with the flow.
I know of many travelers who’ve accepted another culture’s valuation of time but still follow their own internal clock. This is accepting in action. I also know of many who’ve adapted to and adopted it, themselves.
We’ll talk about adapting next week.