Do you bow, shake hands, or hug when you greet someone? Do you kiss on both cheeks?
How much space do you need to feel comfortable on the metro?
What is appropriate touching in your culture?
We’ve been talking about visual frameworks and the way different cultures perceive the world. Aside from vision, all four of our other senses have cultural sensitivities as well.
And touching is one of them.
Cross-Cultural Business Etiquette
When you live and work in a foreign culture, you might find your colleagues are comfortable with a different level of body contact and personal space.
One example: I was relocated to Madrid, Spain when I was a young manager. In Spain, you often find yourself negotiating over long lunches that wind down toward late afternoon.
I’d always know when the “real deal” was going down, because if my arm was resting on the table, my negotiating partner would place his hand on my arm. That gesture typically meant we were getting down to business.
To one who is accustomed to such a level of body contact, this action would be perceived as ordinary.
But for those from a culture with a different perception of touch, the body contact would probably be exceedingly uncomfortable and might even be viewed as inappropriate. Especially in a business meeting.
To Hug or Not to Hug
At around the same time I was being made uncomfortable in my meeting, my wife was taking a Spanish course alongside the wife of a Japanese diplomat.
Japanese culture views body contact of any kind with strangers or colleagues as intimate – even forbidden.
So, imagine her discomfort with the Spanish greeting of a kiss on both cheeks.
Not only do the Spanish kiss; they greet with effusive familiarity. And this woman had not only grown with the primary socialization of her culture, but was also raised in an aristocratic family, who reinforced those strict values and norms.
She explained to my wife how difficult it was to adapt. And it’s easy to understand why.
Do You Adapt?
Imagine you traveled to Zuma (a made-up country), where people – men and women – greeted you by rubbing their chest on you.
Remember, breasts are not viewed as a sexual part of the body in many cultures.
Knowing that, would you be comfortable with this greeting? And the real question: would you adapt to it?
The alternative is to stubbornly abide by your own cultural norms, awkwardly refusing to greet in this manner the rest of your days in this foreign country. But in doing so, you are saying to the locals: “I am the Monkey! I refuse to embrace your ways.”
And in making this choice, your new culture will not fully embrace you in return.